Artificial

So lately I've been thinking, mainly because I've felt it in my own life, about the artificial nature of the world in which we live. I found myself struggling with some things in my life and as a result allowed it to consume my attention rather than allowing God to consume my attention. Last night I made a sad attempt to talk to God, apologizing and praying for guidance, yet somehow felt as though I was being completely artificial. I knew that I meant at the core of my heart that I meant what I was saying, yet somehow it felt fake. This just made me sad and frustrated. I tried that night to read from His word and it felt irrelevant and distant. Now I know that this isn't the case so I accept my feeling of separation as my fault. As I think about this I feel as though that I will never, until I see my Jesus face to face, get over this feeling of separation. This earth that I live in is not my home. I shouldn't accept it as such. Maybe we can consider it a temporary dwelling place. I know, however, that even though I was not destined to forever reside in this broken world I need to hold on all the more tightly to the one that has saved me from myself, from an eternal hell, my deserved destiny. I pray that I can have a faith that strong. I so desperately long for it.

A reminder that there are still things in the world that are not artificial.