So at church today we talked about love. What it looks like to love people. How God loves us and how others witness God's love by the way Christ followers display their love for one another. I was pumped. I loved the message. I love the idea of looking at how God's word calls us to love one another. I said my Amens, I nodded, I agreed. And before I left the doors of the church....I failed. Someone did something that wasn't that big of a deal and I took it personally. I felt as though I had a right to be angry. I felt like I was hurt and it was that person's fault and that they were wrong and should feel sorry about it. The fact is that I reacted poorly and in the end I was in the wrong. When it comes down to it I agreed with the sermon because my spirit in which God dwells wants what He wants and wants to be who He calls me to be. My flesh however is intensely weak and inherently wicked. No matter how much I may want to love like Christ, if my flesh rises up to take control then I will fall on my face in an embarrassing mess.
If I may, I would like to ask for your prayers. Pray that I am daily on my face before a God that loves, in every aspect of the word, to perfection. Pray that God would draw me so close that I would passionately desire a life that looks like Christ rather than human imperfection. For those of you whom I have hurt or wronged, I'm sorry. Please forgive my weakness in my desire to satisfy my desires rather than a life sacrificed.
I promise you that I will continue to fall. The only good that I can think that comes from that is that it forces me to once again be on my face which is where I should be from the start.
God your grace allows me to keep moving forward despite failure. Your love leaves me speechless.
