~

A night of worship.

2010-11-21T20:07:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wanted to be around, or for you yourself to be one who worships well?

How about to just be still? I mean actually really still. Tonight I decided to go outside and just be still. As I observed I couldn't help but be amazed.

The sound of the crickets who remained unseen performed a symphony without fault just as they were created to do. As smoke from a cigar swirled around me I looked up to noticed the clouds which mimicked the smoke as they swirled around the moon every so often allowing me to catch a glimpse of its brilliance. As the breeze would pick up it would rustle the leaves causing them to sound much like a whisper of praise. All this left me with nothing but a feeling of peace. It did not leave me worshiping the nature around me, but rather the nature pointed me to, as it worshipped in perfection, it's creator. My creator. God. The God of the bible. As the cigar burned down the bitterness of the smoke reminded me of the bitterness of my sin. What a necessary reminder of distaste God has for sin. Yet because of Jesus he allowed me, despite my sin, to experience him. Glory to God for His great Mercy!

If you are like me you long to worship well. Sometimes you may just long to be around others who worship well just so you can be around such a feeling. I encourage you to be still. Not just still in a room, but go outside. Allow yourself to be in the middle of creation. Something that makes you feel small. It will most definitely point you to God our father and will help you forget yourself which, in my personal opinion, is something that is a major part of helping us to worship well. Nature has no choice but to worship perfectly. So go outside, watch, and learn!

Much love........

5 Things....

2010-09-03T16:24:00.000-07:00

5 things I'm thankful for:

Transparent people

Honest conversation

Soul feeding music

Truth

Cool winds blowing

5 things I miss:

Reading late in the night just because I wanted

Part time work schedule

Camp life

Certain life impacting friends

Spare time to let creativity flow

5 things I hope for:

Simple Living

Community

A deeper understanding of freedom to be who I am in Christ

The ability to let go of the unimportant that can be soul binding

To be an encouragement to everyone I encounter

Dreams that Become Dead Bugs in a Jar.

2010-06-07T19:38:00.000-07:00

I was sitting outside tonight, it is incredibly beautiful out by the way, and as I was sitting there I noticed the lightening bugs lighting up the sky. I can't remember the last time I saw that many. Seriously. It got me thinking about childhood. Do you remember a time when it was thrilling to catch a lightening bug. I mean looking back on it now I'm not sure what all the hype was about. Most adults jump through interesting hurdles to avoid being in the presence of bugs. There was a time though when we were enchanted. Our eyes lit up like the tale end of these flying glowing lights with wonder at the sight of them. We couldn't wait to capture one. It's like wrapping your hands around magic. Holding these small twinkling lights that hang in the sky by the flutter of wings caused our hearts to race. When we finally chased one down after many tries what was it that we did? We wanted to put it in a jar. Why is that do you think? How often in our lives when we come across something so mesmerizing do we want to just hold on to it? It's then we hear that dream killing voice (in our small wondrous minds) of our parents who tell us we need to let it go. How absurd! How on earth could someone think to let something so incredible go?!

Here's my attempt at an analogy from the sight I saw tonight. You see our parents seem to know something that we don't know. What happens when you keep those little gems in that jar? They suffocate. They go hungry. They run out of life. It was then that I realized the parallel between the funny beings and our own personal dreams. There are times in our lives when a dream flutters in front of us and lights up and catches our eye. It captures us. We get excited. However, in our foolishness, we want to hold on to it so tightly and are afraid to let it go that we try to seal it tight "in a jar". The problem is the same in that if we try to hold on to this idea or dream without "letting it fly" then it will end up just suffocating without anything to feed it. Now I understand that every analogy breaks down at some point, but what I'm trying to say is that it is not healthy to try to contain a dream that needs to breath, feed, grow, and take flight. Our problem is though that we are afraid to fly. If we just sit on the floor in our bedrooms staring at that glimmer in the jar we can see at all times exactly where that dream lives. The problem is that the next morning when we wake up, to our dismay, the dream (like the lightening bug) is no longer alive.

So since I'm not sure who, if anyone, really reads this I am challenging myself. Take the lid off the jar and let the dream fly. If I want to see how that dream plays out I can't be afraid to fly with it. The other option I can see happening is that we may muster up the understanding to let a dream fly, but fear may hold us back from following it and that is just as sad and scary an ending as letting it die.

So what's the point? The point is to have courage. Have faith. Our God is the creator of all things and there should be no fear in seeing how these amazing things play out. No, we should not fear them. We should chase them to see where they go. Always seeking direction and guidance as we journey, but journey nonetheless. A friend of mine and I once said to each other "We may not know where we are going, but if we don't start moving we will never get anywhere."

Choices

2010-03-12T20:49:00.000-08:00

The choices in our lives seem to mock us.

They stare at us and remind us that we have yet to figure it out.

And as the world looks at us and asks us what it is we plan to do, we dig within ourselves to find something acceptable.

So that we can seem acceptable. To them. To us.

But instead of knowing who we are we feel more lost. More lost because now we have assumed an identity that was never ours and never something we wanted to be.

So we begin to walk. Each step more unsure than the last.

We cry out to God to help us. Hold us sure and hold us fast as we now try to live out who we are supposed to be.

Lord teach us to be, not identified by career, relationship, or finances, but rather by the King and how we are to further the kingdom.

The choices we must make are endless and can seem to overwhelm us, but the one in control is sovereign in all circumstances.

So let us take heart in knowing that so that His peace may reign in us rather than the unbearable weight we feel every day.

2010-02-05T07:44:00.000-08:00

For those of you who dont know I work, during the work week, as a custodian at a special school by my house. Not too glamorous, but it pays the bills. This morning I was thinking about our maintenance shed and how everything seems to have a place. One thing in particular that we have is the place where we keep our folders. It's where we have all of our work orders, memos, newsletters, etc. When we walk in we check our folders to see what's on the list for the day then put it back and go about our business for the rest of the day. Now granted if I told a stranger to go into the shop to find my folder they would probably be at a loss. The shed is filled with tools, cabinets, tractors, gators, supplies. (this ain't your gpa's shed behind the house). Since I've been working here, despite the massive space, I know exactly where to go to to find my folder. (Stay with me. I'm getting to a point.)

My thought is this...maybe it's a bit of a stretch. What if we treated our God as this place where we keep our folders. I like to call it the folder holder. We come in knowing where this spot is, check our folders (or maybe somedays not even that), then just go about our days paying little mind to our king. Now I know that every analogy has a breakdown but the thought is this. I feel as though I can, in my own mind, confine God (or His word) to this space and then just set it down and go about my day uneffected. Is it more comforting to me for God to have a space and time without letting it "ruin" the rest of my day. I mean what if God prompted me to bring up his name in conversation? What if he laid it on my heart to help someone in need when I'm late for a party with friends? What if he calls me to give financially in a way that would cause me to have to restructure my whole budget? The fact is that God is not confined by space or time. He created it. I feel like he did that for us. I always hear people say they wish there were more hours in the day, but shoot, we can't even properly prioritize 24 hours.

If you are ready for God to move in your life I would...be prepared. Get ready for an insane ride. If you can't stand the idea of God rocking your plans and intenions for your own life then don't shake your fist at the sky in wonder at why God is not moving in your life. I don't pretend to have this perfected or even somewhat together. Generally when I write it's a way of preaching at myself.

So let's let go of our control on our lives. Let's just begin to move, constantly praying, and see where God takes us as he lights our path one step at a time.

You wanna come outside and play?

2010-01-23T12:12:00.000-08:00

Confession: I've kind of lost momentum in the last week. Instead of my time alone being inspiring and time to work on things it has become more lonely/boring. I, for some reason, haven't been able to look beyond that. Basically what it comes down to is selfishness. I do believe that spending time with people is necessary to fuel the soul, however being alone shouldn't lead into a downward spiral of a "woe is me" mentality. I feel as though I've fallen into that rut of focusing so much on myself (in a negative way) that it leads to a feeling of depression. I have a difficult time feeling inspired to do constructive things when I don't have people around to bounce that energy off of. So how does one procuce that? I've heard people say to make more friends. Really? Make more friends. How do you do that? I mean that sounds so juvinile, but it seems like in the season of adulthood relationships are almost approached as an interview process. I mean kids have it so easy. Can you imagine a grown man going next door and saying "You wanna come outside and play?" Just doesn't have the same effect anymore. So again I ask, how does one go about making new friend's outside the realm of their current circles? Still haven't found the answer to that one. No one else seems to have the answer either (including the ones encouraging me to do so). Seems like everyone is just so busy or have just settled in for the rest of their lives. I'm not ready for that yet. What happened to the people who actually got together, went over to each other's houses, ate dinner together? Do these people still exsist?

If you're one of those people who still do this and you're reading this I have one question for ya... "So, you wanna come outside and play?"

~J~

10 years of life in 60 seconds.

2010-01-01T21:56:00.000-08:00

So I've been reading a lot of updates and blogs that people have posted about the happenings of their life over the past ten years. I thought I would do the same. I'll put it in list format as to not tire you. Here are some significant events that have happened:

Got my drivers liscence

Graduated high school

Worked at a camp for 3 summers that was 4 hours from home

Went on a mission trip to Spain

Moved into my own house

Changed church membership from my church as a youth

Graduated college

The only dog I ever had growing up died

Dad was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor (completely romoved)

Both grandmothers had serious illness

One of them was in and out of the hospital for a year and since has gone to be with the Lord

Started my own business

I know there is so much more than that, but those are just some of the biggies. Here's hoping we all remember some of the milestones in life so we can learn and grow from mistakes and lessons. A lot can happen in a short amount of time.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

2009-12-10T18:01:00.001-08:00

So I was thinking yesterday about a question that most of us have all been asked.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Ok, raise your hand if you've hated hearing this question. I mean seriously! EVERYONE asks it. Or now that most of us are older the question is: "So what do you do?" Shoot most of us are still trying to figure out what the heck we want to be when we grow up. Then it started to make me think about, as a child, what I wanted to be when I was older.

Wanna know what it was? ........A singing astronaut veterinarian. Yep! Can't make this stuff up folks. That's what I wanted. You know what? Now that I think about it, no one ever said that I couldn't do that or that it was a stupid idea. Unfortunately not all are so lucky and for those people my heart breaks. However, somewhere along the way we throw away our "childish" dreams and we try to have grown up professions.

When did we lose ourselves? People became so concerned with who we were going to be that by the time most of us get to college we haven't a stinkin clue! We have students that are triple majoring or that change their major multiple times to try to find the perfect fit. Most of us will fall into the category that I fell in which is by the time of graduation you have a moment to stop and think. Crap. I need a job.

So what's the answer. I have no idea. I said I just thought about this yesterday. I wonder though if we should stop asking kids what they want to be though. I don't know. Maybe not. Just a thought though. I didn't need an adult to ask me if I wanted to be a singing astronaut veterinarian. Please! Adults aren't that creative.

Food for thought. Nothing more really.

Raise My Ebenezer

2009-12-05T17:19:00.001-08:00

So I know I say this probably every time I write something, but I really haven't done this in a while. I mean like actually write a real post. So here is just a little bit of what I've been learning lately.

Recently I've been thinking about how I would love to...you know the old cliche..."move on to big and better things"

While I am extremely thankful for having a job I just want to start moving towards my dreams. I suppose I am doing that, but at times it just feels like I'm trying to run through molasses. Know the feeling? Perhaps I'm inpatient. I just want it to happen now! I've always been that way a little bit though.....ok a lot bit.

As I was analyzing my work habits, spending habits, etc. I realized that I am not being the best steward of those things. No, not enough that people would take notice. In a lot of cases probably not even enough that people would see anything wrong with them. While I'm not anywhere near going bankrupt I have noticed that I'm much more quick to buy a $5 latte than save it for house repairs. Or go out to dinner with friends rather than stay in and save to possibly buy a coat for someone who is using newspaper as their blanket rather than the plush afghan I nap under. I suppose, as most do, I feel if I have money in the bank then I'm doing something right.

The other day I was talking through some of these things with a friend. Ok I was actually texting it because, you know, texting is totally the new face to face relationship. As I was sharing my thoughts to him he exclaimed to me "Raise your ebenezer!" I wasn't too sure what he was wanting me to do. I'm not sure he knew why he instructed me to do so either. However, it led us in an interesting direction of conversation. We started to talk about the old hymn where that line is sung. The line comes from the bible verse 1 Samuel 7:12

Then Samuel(A) took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen[a] and called its name Ebenezer;[b] for he said, "Till now the LORD has helped us.

Samuel lifted a stone as a mark for what God had done. It was a symbol, a defining point.

Well while I don't have a giant rock to lift up in the air I do have this blog. I hope that in writing this I will think back and remember it and what God has been teaching me when faced with the little decisions. Do I buy a latte and a muffin or an entire bag of coffee that I can make at home that will last a few weeks? Do I go out to the movies or do I rent one for a dollar? Yes they seem like small and meaningless decisions, but I think these are ways to be smart for one and more importantly to honor God in the small things.

After thinking through these thoughts I was reminded of the parable of the talents. We are trusted with time, money, resources, talents and we are most certainly responsible for what we do with them. So:

HERE I RAISE MY EBENEZER!

Desert Song

2009-10-02T04:22:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine posted this video. I just wanted to share it as well. How often do we feel overcome yet we are still called to worship a God who is never failing.

Download My Friend's Music!

2009-07-09T14:28:00.000-07:00

So I've known one of my closest friends, Nathan Smith, for almost 8 years now. He is insanely talented. He plays guitar like a magician and has an incredible voice. I'm truly blessed to have such a friend as him. His talent truly amazes me. He recently put on his blog a couple songs that you can download. Please go there and support him.

For those of you who don't know I am a photographer so I am often snapping random pictures of my friends. I'm sure it can get annoying. Thankfully no one has kicked me in the teeth or anything yet. Here is a shot that I caught of Nathan. This is the album art that you'll see when you're downloading.

It's here!

2009-06-19T10:03:00.001-07:00

After several calls, email, and frustrated breakdowns....IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!!

I gave in.

2009-05-05T20:03:00.001-07:00

So I finally did it. I became a follower. Go ahead. Call me a conformist.

Incomplete Trinity

2009-04-12T06:55:00.000-07:00

So I've been reading the book Worship Matters by Bob Kauflin. Its directed towards worship leaders. I think its a great book for anyone to read though addressing the worship time of the musical portion of corporate worship.

The chapter I just finished was focused on the role of the Holy Spirit. Something that he said particularly struck me in how I've been feeling lately. The quote said:

"Paul reminded the Philippians that 'we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh' (Philippians 3:3). Part of his intention is to communicate our need to rely on God's power rather than on our own when we draw near to Him."

Lately I've felt as though when I come to worship God I can't "feel" Him. This chapter has caused me to question whether or not when I come to worship God if I try to do so apart from the Holy Spirit. I wonder how many times we come to worship the true God incompletely. If we try to worship the Father through the Spirit yet forgetting Christ are we not in the wrong? In my case if I try to worship the Father through Christ yet without the power of the Holy Spirit have I missed God in complete identity? Have we allowed the mystery of the trinity to cause us to miss His complete identity?

A message from Jon Macarthur.

2009-03-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

An excerpt from one of Jon Macarthur's message's on his site. To read it in it's entirety, go here.

Only God has the capability to fill our life with song. Only He is the one who can save us and redeem us. And as a result of that, we are in tremendous debt to Him. And that is exactly what the Apostle Paul says in Romans 8:12 and 13.

Let me read those two verses and then we'll look at them, talk about them; see if we can't apply them to our hearts. Romans 8, verse 12:

"Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do kill the deeds of the body, ye shall live."

Two very, very important verses. And I trust the Spirit of God to be our teacher, tonight.

To begin with, let me say that I want you to know that the things that I teach and the things that I preach in the Word of God are very personal things to me. This is not an exercise in theatrics. This is the commitment of my own heart. I take the Word of God very seriously. And I believe that before I can ever be so bold as to apply it to your 1 if e, I have to apply it to my own 1 if e. And so, I find myself in the text of every sermon of every lesson and no different here.

This is not just a message to you; it is a message to me. And it is a very important reminder that I am in no debt at all to the flesh. For that's a part of the life of deadness that I no longer am engaged in, thanks to Jesus Christ. And so, I owe the flesh nothing. But I am in debt, and that's implied here, I am in debt to God with a tremendous debt. And that's really what I want us to understand tonight.

This week as I was thinking about my own responsibility to be the kind of man God would have me to be, whether or not I was the pastor of a church or not, I was drawn to read a book which has a way of confronting my soul and it's an old book, in fact it was written in 1656. 1 have a current edition, I want you to know. It's been republished many, many times. The title of it is The Reformed Pastor and it was written by a pastor by the name of Richard Baxter. And he says this, on one page, and he speaks to those who are pastors.

"Take heed to yourselves lest you live in those sins which you preach against in others and lest you be guilty of that which you daily condemn. Will you make it your work to magnify God and when you have done dishonor Him as much as others? Will you proclaim Christ's governing power and yet condemn it and rebel yourselves? Will you preach His laws and willfully break them? If sin be evil, why do you live in it? If it be not, why do you dissuade men from it? If it be dangerous, how dare you venture on it. If it be not, why do you tell men so? If God's threatenings be true, why do you not fear them? If they be false why do you need righteously troubled men ... why do you righteously trouble men with them and put them into such fright without a cause? Do you know the judgment of God that they who commit such things are worthy of death? And yet, will you do them?

"Thou that teachest another, teachest thou not thyself. Thou that makest thy boast of thy law through breaking the law, dishonorest thou God. What, shall the same tongue speak evil that speaks against evil? Shall those lips censor and slander and backbite your neighbor that cry down these and the like things in others? Take heed to yourselves lest you cry down sin and yet do not overcome it, lest while you seek to bring it down in others you bow to it and become its slave yourselves. 0 brethren, it is easier to chide at sin than to overcome it," end quote.

I find that a very important warning in my own life. And Baxter went on to say, "Many a tailor goes in rags that makes costly clothes for others. And many a cook scarcely licks his fingers when he hath dressed for others the most costly meal."

Honestly

2009-03-23T21:50:00.000-07:00

So I know that I haven't blogged in some time. I don't really know that that is a problem considering I'm not sure that anyone actually reads this, but lately my head has just been so flooded with biblical teaching that I'm wrestling to sort through it all and just absorb as much as I can. Hopefully I can sort through some of it soon.

Christmas Poem

2009-02-06T14:17:00.000-08:00

This is a poem I wrote around Christmas time for a service
A poem from the perspective of Joseph at the birth of Christ:

God, what are you doing?
I don't understand.
I'm trying to trust in your mighty hand.
She is just a child, I'm a coward at best.
Have you looked around, have you seen all the rest?
Why did you pick her, why did you pick me?
Why have you chosen it us to be?
I'm supposed to provide a place for us to stay.
You weren't supposed to come this way.
But now here you are, I feel such a fright.
A child in a trough, yet the marvelous light.
You've asked us to hold this helpless babe who will one day be mighty to save.
Father give us the strength to follow in faith.
Surround us with prayer from your holy saints.
Now what do we do? Take one day at a time?
I don't feel that brave no matter how hard I try.
What is there left to do on this silent night, but to sing to him sweetly and to hold him tight.

Sweet video

2009-02-04T14:20:00.000-08:00

I found this video on someone else's blog , who saw it on someone else's blog. I just couldn't pass it up though. It's pretty amazing.

Worshiping when you don't feel Him.

2009-01-13T15:57:00.000-08:00

These are some thoughts that God laid on my heart in a conversation with a friend.

"So I was thinking about why it feels so devastating at times to not feel that closeness with God. If I am interpreting His word correctly it seems that His way of loving us is by letting us experience Him. So when we don't feel that closeness, we don't feel loved, often times leaving us not wanting to be loving. Maybe thats why it causes us to not feel motivated to worship. The thing is that we love because He first loved us. So our response is from that one incomprehensible act which wasn't just loving us once, but is in a constant state of love. So our worship shouldn't be out of reaction to every small feeling we call love, but from that one act that is continual love."

Happy New Years

2009-01-12T14:42:00.000-08:00

The morning after a freakishly long night of rock band.

An apple a day

2009-01-01T17:05:00.000-08:00

So if you don't know already I am trying to start my own photography business. Several months ago I was able to purchase my very own SLR camera, but unfortunately the computer that I was working on was just not cutting it. So I decided to go for a little upgrade. I don't have any pictures of it that I took myself, but you get the idea.

Receive

2008-12-13T09:56:00.000-08:00

Several weeks ago I was talking with some friends about the word receive. What does this word make you think? How do you respond? Generally it seems to have a positive connotation. We love to receive gifts, flowers, compliments, letters, etc. I threw in the mix a questioning on whether or not receiving could be a difficult experience. Now if your mind begins to reel in a resounding yes just slow down for a moment. Obviously we receive things we don't want. I don't need to make a list. I'm sure you can make your own. Is there a possibility though that we can mesh the first two concepts though. Receiving something that is positive yet difficult. What's this you say??? We can tend to blow through life when things are simple and easy going. When everyone's health is at its peak, when everyone is having a good time, when finances are breathing easy, and when relationships are smooth. What happens though when this isn't the case? What about when things are difficult and seemingly not going your way? What if that relationship that you thought was going great started to struggle? If someone had some difficult things to say would you receive them well? Would you think it positive? There are times when we have to receive some of the most difficult things that we were not ready for. It can often times blindside us without warning. Can it be a good thing? I say yes. Difficult? Absolutely. But how much are we grown and stretched to something we didn't think we could be in the easy times? Not much. Its when you are faced with the events in life that you never thought you could push through that make you the person you never knew you could be. I challenge you, though it may be hard, to welcome those defining moments. To take those difficult gifts that life throws your way and receive them well.

God bless!

Inspiration to GO

2008-12-07T11:24:00.001-08:00

Failing to Love

2008-11-02T12:09:00.000-08:00

So at church today we talked about love. What it looks like to love people. How God loves us and how others witness God's love by the way Christ followers display their love for one another. I was pumped. I loved the message. I love the idea of looking at how God's word calls us to love one another. I said my Amens, I nodded, I agreed. And before I left the doors of the church....I failed. Someone did something that wasn't that big of a deal and I took it personally. I felt as though I had a right to be angry. I felt like I was hurt and it was that person's fault and that they were wrong and should feel sorry about it. The fact is that I reacted poorly and in the end I was in the wrong. When it comes down to it I agreed with the sermon because my spirit in which God dwells wants what He wants and wants to be who He calls me to be. My flesh however is intensely weak and inherently wicked. No matter how much I may want to love like Christ, if my flesh rises up to take control then I will fall on my face in an embarrassing mess.

If I may, I would like to ask for your prayers. Pray that I am daily on my face before a God that loves, in every aspect of the word, to perfection. Pray that God would draw me so close that I would passionately desire a life that looks like Christ rather than human imperfection. For those of you whom I have hurt or wronged, I'm sorry. Please forgive my weakness in my desire to satisfy my desires rather than a life sacrificed.

I promise you that I will continue to fall. The only good that I can think that comes from that is that it forces me to once again be on my face which is where I should be from the start.

God your grace allows me to keep moving forward despite failure. Your love leaves me speechless.

My daddy is showing off!

2008-10-23T18:52:00.000-07:00

So I had a conversation several weeks ago with a friend about a sunset we had both seen that kind of amazed us. So if you see a post that looks similar to this don't think that I am copying it. With my new job I have been able to see my father's handy work in action. I've been able to see a lot of sunsets and sunrises lately. Here are but a few that I would like to share with you.

Be Thankful

2008-10-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

So everywhere I seem to turn lately people seem so unhappy. When I am at work people are cursing their computers, talking about each other behind their backs, constantly griping about doing their jobs. When did people become so unhappy? I went to bread co for lunch the other day and the lady said hurriedly "Have a nice day." I cordially replied "You too." When I said that she muttered under her breath "Not until I get out of this place." What has happened? Life has seemed to so burden people that they've forgotten how to be happy. They've forgotten what it means to love what they do. Sure life is stressful. Sure the economy is bad. Take a moment though and look around. It has been so beautiful lately. Go outside and just look up. Be thankful for something....anything. It's time people. Life is passing you by too quickly to just tolerate it. Enjoy it!

Scriptures that have been weighing heavily on my heart.

2008-09-23T17:27:00.000-07:00

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed. Perplexed, but not in despair. Persecuted, but not abandoned. Struck down, but not destroyed. ~2 Corinthians 4:8-9

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. ~John 16:33

A blog on Christians trying to be Relevant

2008-09-23T17:14:00.000-07:00

http://www.worshipmatters.com/2005/12/worship-service-idolatry-on-sunday-mornings-part-8/

Aware

2008-09-23T16:02:00.000-07:00

As Christians we should be aware of the people of this world. We are called to preach to the nations. I often have used the excuse myself that I don't know how to be knowledgeable about this. As it was brought to my attention today in this day and age, with the resources that we have we should not be excused to be ignorant people. Here is a site to help you become aware.

http://www.joshuaproject.net/

The Power of Words

2008-09-21T11:58:00.001-07:00

Predicting God

2008-09-13T20:14:00.000-07:00

I find it interesting the obsession that humans have to predict what is going to happen. The other day I was watching the five day forcast which doesn't seem too out of the ordinary, but for some reason it struck me as odd how we so desperately need to plan out our lives and want to know exactly how things are going to unfold. I thought it was really funny when I was out today mowing the lawn under a blue sky in beautiful weather on what was supposed to be the midst of monsoon like week of weather. I had this thought of wonder if my God was thinking they thought they could predict what I was going to do, but I will do what I please.

A picture of what God can do even when we predict otherwise.

An Eternal Cry of Praise

2008-09-07T12:20:00.001-07:00

Labor Day Fun

2008-09-05T15:25:00.000-07:00

Seasons change

2008-09-05T11:00:00.001-07:00

Today it feels like fall. To me that's a beautiful thing.

Hot soup and sandwich perhaps.

Don't think. Just Feel.

2008-08-31T14:17:00.000-07:00

I'm often told that I think too much. There are very few things that can cause me to just feel without thinking about something, but this, for whatever reason does.

Music in the most unexpected ways.

2008-08-31T14:08:00.001-07:00

People are Dying to Live

2008-08-31T13:30:00.000-07:00

The cry of my heart.

2008-08-31T11:14:00.000-07:00

The cry of my heart is to bring you praise
From the inside out
My soul cries out to You

~Hillsong

I bought a new toy

2008-08-30T14:34:00.000-07:00

Content not to compare

2008-08-29T19:59:00.000-07:00

Heart, why is it that you will not be content
Content in God's creation
His creation of you
You compare and measure yourself continually to what is imperfect
You compare yourself to other creations of God
Something created cannot surpass the perfection of its creator
Therefore unite your voice with creation around you and praise in unison the creator who alone is worthy of praise
For He stands alone in perfection
With this in mind you have only one response
Worship

Seperation conformity

2008-08-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

I found this quote on someone else's page. I've had this similar subject on my heart recently. Choose to consider it or ignore it.

"Let me tell you why the suburbs are so toxic. Everything in the suburbs communicates to you that everything is about you. And there is nothing more toxic to the soul than being self-absorbed. Why would we spend millions of dollars to create an environment that reinforces to you everything that everything else out there is teaching you?"

Rediculous

2008-08-26T17:30:00.001-07:00

Laughter

2008-08-22T16:16:00.000-07:00

So I was feeling a little down today. Circumstances of life taking their toll. As I was sitting here somewhat discouraged and feeling sorry for myself I heard a couple talking. I couldn't understand at all what they were saying for, you see, they were speaking another language. Despite this lack of understanding my spirits began to lift. As the couple was talking they kept laughing. It's like they had forgotten about everything else and were just enjoying the company of one another. I thought about it. Laughter. What a way to melt away discouragement. No matter what life throws at you it seems that laughter can help you forget. Forget in a positive way. Forget that life is hard and broken. It allows you to see the light of life. So here's to laughter. Think about a time in your life that caused you to laugh out loud. A time when you smiled so much it made your face hurt. It's ok. Go ahead. Take a break from it all and just let it out.

Pray for Jake Gregory

2008-08-18T15:04:00.001-07:00

I don't know this young woman, but she has obviously had a tremendous effect on the lives around her. Please take a moment to pray for the family of this child of God and that He would restore her fully to the life she had before this tragic accident.

http://www.ksdk.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=152449

Man's Best Friend

2008-08-02T12:33:00.000-07:00

So for those of you who don't know, for most of my life I've not been a huge fan of birds. I've been pooped on and attacked several times. I'll spare you the details for now, but nonetheless not a big fan. Sure it's nice on a peaceful morning when you can hear them and not see them. Otherwise, keep them away from me. Well today, for the second time I might add, a bird got trapped in my screened in porch. When I went to let the dog out the bird tried to flee....unsuccessfully. Before it could escape, my wonderful dog, Keylee, sought it out immediately and attacked it. It now lies dead in my back yard. It couldn't have been a prouder moment. I cheered in victory. So this post is to man's best friend and my only current roommate. My dog. CHEERS!

Update

2008-07-10T07:59:00.000-07:00

So I feel like I haven't posted in a while. Life has been kind of crazy. Looking for a job, grandma's in the hospital, trying to start my own little business. Craziness. Well so far to update you, I don't have a job yet (still searching), grandma is still in the hospital still feeling terrible, and I actually have been getting some business with the photography thing. That's the most exciting thing going on right now. In a few short weeks I will be photographing my first wedding. That was unexpected and completely exciting. I've also had several other opportunities to shoot for people. It feels like it's actually kind of taking off. I can't wait to see what God has planned in that area of my life. I've tried to make a small change in life recently by removing the antenna from my television. That's right, no more tv. Well ok I still watch movies, but no tv. It's funny (well maybe not that funny) how much tv I realize I was actually watching. Every time I sit on the couch I think, well what am I going to do now? I've become painfully aware of how much time I was wasting. So I decided that I should be reading more to replace this new found voided blocks of time. I work at a book store and so I have acquired quite the collection yet have had no time to read them. Well, have not made time to read them. I just bought another book called Crazy love. It is written by Francis Chan. I can't wait to continue reading it. I've only gotten two chapters in so far, but it's been great so far. Try it. Slow down. Take a breath and read. More to come.

Business Card

2008-07-03T09:10:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! I feel like it's been a while since I've posted. Well I'm trying to get this photography thing off the ground. It's been really great having different opportunities to photograph. I figured since I've actually started to get into this I should make a business card. I mean that's what professionals do, right? Well I went ahead and designed a business card for myself. *see below* Well I carry them around with me now, so if you see me then make sure you ask me for one. Maybe I can really get something started. Who knows? Looking forward toward the future.

Botanical Gardens

2008-06-19T09:41:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a photography class right now. This week we went to the Botanical Gardens. Here are a few photos that I shot. Some random. Some not. Enjoy.

Megan and Gary

2008-06-18T11:31:00.000-07:00

So I met Megan about 13 years ago when my family moved back to St. Louis after moving around for some time. As I grew up in the youth group of my parent's church Megan and I along with a couple of other close friends grew very close to each other and spent most of our time with one another. Well as we've grown up life has taken us all on some interesting journies. Unfortunatly Megan is far away now which is sad, but we do get to see her when she comes to visit. While she was away from us she met Gary and wouldn't you know it they fell in love. While we miss our friend from time to time it's exciting to see how God is directing her paths and blessing her along the way. Good luck Megan and Gary in everything that you do and may God richly bless you on your journey.

Recent Photoshoot

2008-06-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

Baby Crazy

2008-06-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

Well spring is here and so are babies. They seem to be all around us. Well I just had the pleasure to do a photo shoot for a couple who just had baby twins. They are so cute and for only being 2 1/2 weeks old they were so patient. It had been a long time since I've been around babies that little. The whole day was a blast. Between the joy of new life, great loving parents, and helpful friends we couldn't help but to have a blast. Thank you Jen and Jason for the opportunity to do this. May God bless you on this new and exciting journey.

Good friends get to hold the little ones.

Dichotomy

2008-05-30T15:56:00.000-07:00

Peace, where is your presence? I cant see your face.
Have I turned my back, have I walked away.
Your source has withdrawn, but I did not accept.
I'm feeling empty, from my very depths.
I traded cheap comfort to replace your great gift
through my emotions I must now sift

Photoshop creations.

2008-05-15T12:09:00.000-07:00

So I mentioned just a moment ago that I had purchased photoshop. Well here are just a few little creations that I came up with. Hope you enjoy!

Update on Life.

2008-05-15T10:52:00.000-07:00

So I haven't posted in a while. I wish that I could. One set back is that I don't have access unless I'm at bread co. Seriously, I think these people are sick of seeing me here....all the time. Anyhow, I guess a quick update on my life is....well...there isn't much going on. That seems sad. Well I'm still on the job search ladies and gents. I had a job interview on Teusday at TALX and I'm supposed to hear back from them by the end of the week. We'll see what happens. Man, this "real world" is an intimidating place. Here are a few fun updates. 1) I bought photoshop. It's not the huge all inclusive program, but it works for what I can afford right now. So that is pretty exciting. 2) Speaking of photos I've been having a lot of opportunities to take photos for people. That has been super exciting. One person is wanting maternity photos and the other is wanting photos of her twins that should be here any day now. I've never taken pictures in either department really so it will be a new learning experience. 3) I just recieved my grades in the mail this week and got probably the best grades I've ever had. All A's and B's with a 3.556 gpa. You better believe I'm gonna add that extra 5 & 6 in there. Well that's all I can think of as of now. Hopefully more good news to come soon as well as some photos. Good day to all!

Frustration.

2008-05-02T11:09:00.000-07:00

So today I wanted to really focus on God and what He might want to show me or tell me. When I say that it sounds almost like I don't want that any other time. Not the case. There are certain days that you spend extra time in prayer, fasting, ect. When I woke up this morning I had an overwhelming sense of frustration and anger. I don't know where it came from. Well....I guess I do. It became kind of this downward spiral. I was frustrated, then I was angry that I was frustrated, then that just frustrated me more. You get the picture. I think I just realized it. I've been spending more time telling God what's going on with me than listening to what He's trying to say to me. I haven't been spending much time in God's word. I'm ashamed of that. I guess since the times I'm in group studies it is so intense that I'm less likely to study. I'm not sure. I have a lot of excuses, but no good reasons. I just so desire to have a deeply intentional relationship with God and I fail miserably. As I've been learning of the depravity of man, it makes sense why I choose to stray towards my selfish ways. As a Christian, however, I should be clinging to my Savior so tightly. I guess its good to be aware of my helpless state. I just need prayer to look toward a Holy God and be less focused on my situational frustrations. If I'm consumed with my Savior and His people, how could I remain in such a frustrated state. Stumbling, but reaching.

Graduate

2008-05-02T10:40:00.000-07:00

Signs it's time to graduate.

...and I did it!

Final Assignment

2008-04-21T10:10:00.000-07:00

So the semester is over and I am ecstatic. Ecstatic, free, scared, terrified of the unknown. What a mix of odd emotions. While I am out of control excited that I've finished the seven years it took for me to graduate I am a little sad about one thing. The only class I absolutely loved this semester was my photography class. It was great to actually be excited about something I was studying. I look forward to what the future holds and how I can put to practice what I learned in this fantastic class. Here is a look at my final project. The title of it was God speaks and it was a visual depiction of the different ways that God speaks to me. Hope you enjoy.

The man with the crooked face.

2008-04-11T10:34:00.000-07:00

I once met a man with a crooked face.
It was the strangest thing I had seen any place.
I asked sir why is it that your face turns that way.
He said, son, sit down and I'll tell you a story today.
I once met a man with a crooked face.
It caused a commotion all over the place.
It made some people laugh and some people cry.
It made some people angry while others chose to die.
However, this man's face, unlike mine was bloodied and bruised.
For His love the majority of the people refused.
He saved me from a fate that I rightfully deserve.
So now He is the one that I faithfully serve.
Everyday I get alone and with Him I meet.
I find my only spot on my face at His feet.
So you see that is why my appearance is as such.
It is because I am on my face so much.
Now my voice may be warbled and I've slowed down my pace.
But I'm delighted to be known as the man with the crooked face.

God is in the details.

2008-04-08T14:07:00.000-07:00

So I had to be at church at 6:30 on Sunday to help set up. Definitly got up at 4:30. Anyway, I ended up being the first one at church so I just sat in my car and enjoyed the sunrise. Please, take a journey with me through my wonderful day.

So my theme for the day was "looking at the details". Here's what I came up with, starting with footprints in the sand.

Pretty sure the ground isn't supposed to bubble.

A golf cart path.

Spring is here.

A super awesome tree.

My friend just arrived at church.

Sound board taken through the back of a really cool chair.

This is my closest friend playin' the geetar (that's country for guitar)

Super Fantastic Sunday

2008-04-07T15:14:00.000-07:00

So I had a great day yesterday. I even got to take a bunch of pictures outside since it was so nice out. I'm having a little trouble getting these to upload right now and I have to go so here are just a couple of my wonderful friends. More to come.

Embracing Accusation

2008-04-04T13:30:00.000-07:00

So I was listening to a song the other day and the chorus said: "If you want me, satisfy me." I thought, how often do we say that as Christians. "God, if you want me, then allow me to have a good day and bless me." What is that! It makes me sick, not because others do it, but because I know that I myself am guilty of having said this. I have been feeling the pressure of the weight of my sin lately and it has brought me sadness. I was reminded of this verse.

"For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin because anyone who has died has been freed from sin." Romans 6:6-7

Why is it, then, that it seems that I am held captived to my sin so often.
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but
what I hate I do." Romans 7:15

The devil is preaching
The song of the redeemed
That I am cursed and gone astray
I cannot gain salvation
Embracing accusation

Could the father of lies
Be telling the truth
Of God to me tonight?
If the penalty of sin is death
Then death is mine
I hear him saying cursed are the ones
Who can’t abide
He’s right
Alleluia he’s right!

Oh the devil’s singing over me
An age old song
That I am cursed and gone astray
Singing the first verse so conveniently
He’s forgotten the refrain
Jesus saves!
~Shane and Shane "Embracing Accusation"

May I embrace my accusation and rest in the fact that my Jesus saves.

Photoshoot in the Park

2008-04-01T15:44:00.000-07:00

Unbroken

2008-03-24T13:02:00.000-07:00

So lately I have been just so humbled by listening to everyone's view on their Easter weekend. I don't really consider myself an emotional person so its difficult when I hear about the incredible sacrifice that my savior gave so that I can live freely. How does that not break me and bring me to my knees? I often feel ashamed that I can not feel the weight of the meaning of Easter. I feel ashamed that nothing emotional overflows from the knowledge of who my God is and what He has done for me. Why does the thought of nails the size of railroad spikes being driven though the arms and feet of a guiltless man not cause me to weep? Why does the realization that a human body that embodied the Creator of the universe coming back to life after being dead for three days not cause me to shout for joy? It seems to me that even from the most emotionless person should flow some sort of feeling from these insanely incredible miracles. The word of God tells us that even the deamons tremble at the sound of the name of Jesus. If they are trembling, why not I?

Today I am broken. I am broken that my stagnant emotion remains unbroken.

God I pray that I am broken for the fact that your body was broken and that I shed tears for the blood that was shed to cover my wretched sinful nature.

My time in Colorado during Spring Break

2008-03-14T10:53:00.000-07:00

On the way to the mountains.

Mountains!

A little Colorado coffee shop action.

Lodge at the bottom of the slope.

A little ski time next to the Aspens.

This weeks pics.

2008-03-04T12:48:00.000-08:00

This was just from the walk to my car.

Winter wonderland

I had to take a picture of our worship band for a web site.

Low light/Night time

2008-02-28T10:40:00.000-08:00

So I definitely tried to do this yesterday and I couldn't get it to work so here is round two. Sorry about the size of the pictures. I don't know what's going on. I resized them and everything so you'll just have to click on the pic to get the full effect.

Photoshoped version of previous pics

2008-02-19T15:44:00.000-08:00

Faith and Corporation

2008-02-18T11:21:00.000-08:00

Everyone go to Relevantmagazine.com and read the article on living the corporate life. I have been having this conversation with several people and it has been on my mind. Food for thought. Check out the rest of the site while you're there. Good stuff.

My first photoshoot...unedited.

2008-02-14T11:55:00.000-08:00

I love the snow.

2008-02-05T11:36:00.001-08:00

Control

2008-02-04T10:42:00.000-08:00

So I feel like people might think I'm this depressed person, but it is not the case. I just tend to write about things that weigh heavy on my heart.

I found myself today in a controlling state, however I did not realize this at the time. I woke up without even thinking about how great my God is to me. In church yesterday the pastor talked some about how we should just be floored by the grace of God, worshipping Him for the mercy He has shown on our lives. Of course Monday morning then arrived distracting me from this incredible news. I chose to take time for myself this morning ( which in this case meant watching tv, grumbling about the things that I need to do, and missing things that I needed to be at ). After much of this juvenille thinking I then continued to go buy something that I needed for school for a deadline that is today which I had known I needed since the beginning of the semester. When I finally decided which credit card to put it on due to the expiration of the card I had planned to purchase it with (It was not a small purchase) I went on my way. I had to then go back home because I left a project at home that I needed today. So after cursing the construction of the roads for 15 minutes or so I made it home. When all was said and done I arrived at school 2 hours later than I was supposed to be there. When I finally allowed myself time to reflect about my foolish nature I felt ashamed and somewhat embarrased for myself. I had temporarily taken control. I took control of the choice to be late for commitments, procrastinating important assignments, and taking control over a bad attitude. This has left me in a sad state of overwhelming selfishness leaving me with a feeling of the weight of the world on my shoulders. I pray that this stops now. God give me the strength to relinquish control.

Artificial

2008-01-25T13:17:00.000-08:00

So lately I've been thinking, mainly because I've felt it in my own life, about the artificial nature of the world in which we live. I found myself struggling with some things in my life and as a result allowed it to consume my attention rather than allowing God to consume my attention. Last night I made a sad attempt to talk to God, apologizing and praying for guidance, yet somehow felt as though I was being completely artificial. I knew that I meant at the core of my heart that I meant what I was saying, yet somehow it felt fake. This just made me sad and frustrated. I tried that night to read from His word and it felt irrelevant and distant. Now I know that this isn't the case so I accept my feeling of separation as my fault. As I think about this I feel as though that I will never, until I see my Jesus face to face, get over this feeling of separation. This earth that I live in is not my home. I shouldn't accept it as such. Maybe we can consider it a temporary dwelling place. I know, however, that even though I was not destined to forever reside in this broken world I need to hold on all the more tightly to the one that has saved me from myself, from an eternal hell, my deserved destiny. I pray that I can have a faith that strong. I so desperately long for it.

A reminder that there are still things in the world that are not artificial.

Movement Assignment

2008-01-24T13:35:00.000-08:00

Here is one of the kids in my youth group stopping a tackle.

Here is the classic I'm stopping you from hitting me. Ok so I don't think they call it that, but for the sake of the assignment.

I asked them to show me movement and this is what I got.

This was a cool mechanical surf board thing. I liked it. I got a lot of motion from it.

I didn't plan on origanally using this, but clearly there is movement.

2008-01-21T11:48:00.000-08:00

My three random pictures for the week from some time spent with friends on a Sunday afternoon.

3 random pictures I've taken

2008-01-15T13:36:00.000-08:00

Self Portrait

2008-01-14T15:10:00.000-08:00

So I tried to think of different ways that I could represent myself the best through a self portrait and this is what I came up with. I will start with the fact that it is in black and white. Black and white photos are my favorite. They represent a timelessness to me, which doesn't necessarily say anything about me, but I just like B&W. My black and white clothes kind of carry the theme. I love music (hints the headphones). I've always wished that real life could have some sort of sound track to it. I love getting lost in the music that I'm listening to. If you say hi to me and I don't say anything back, don't get affended. My journal says, which you can't really tell, My Story. To me it just means all the entries that I've made so far speak of different times in my life and the empty pages to follow represent the possibilities in life to come left to be written.

Looking Forward

2008-01-14T09:40:00.000-08:00

So here I am thinking about what the future holds. I'm in my last semester of school. I have up until this point not given it too much thought, but as I have begun this first few weeks of this semester it has become more and more real the fact that in three short months I will be graduating. It's exciting, thrilling, .....terrifying. I, like most, have no idea what I am going to be doing as my school career comes to an end. I've always had this torn feeling about the idea of being able to support myself as I enter this big scary world and yet still love what I'm doing. I understand that it is important to provide for one self and pay the bills and such. I just don't want to, and I've seen many fall in this trap, find a job that I despise just so that I can make money. I don't understand why this must be my destiny as a working man. Can I not follow my dreams and still contribute to this world as a member of society. I still want to believe that it is possible. Maybe it is my naivety as one who has yet to enter this phase of my life. I guess we will see, but I hope that my dreams can outshine my fears.

1rst Assignment

2008-01-09T14:48:00.000-08:00

I mainly picked this picture because of the concept of the photo. It makes me think of the point of the view of the limo driver taking a look on their first few moments as a happy couple.

I love church photos. I especially love this one. I like that it was taken from the end of the aisle. I love that it was taken in black and white. It highlights the old asthetic of the church.

The light pouring into the window is perfect to me in this picture. The way that it reflects off of the table just adds that much more light illuminating the room. I like the way the black and white accentuates the different details in the picture like the stripes in the sweater and the grain in the wood. I like the way they have in facing away from the camera as well.

This photo to me just captures what all american really means. A child swinging in a real tire swing captures to me the innocence that we all had a one time. I feel like the coloring and lighting is perfect. The framing seems perfect too.

I think what I notice first in this photograph is the lighting. I love the way the light outlines this little one in front of this big door. It speaks to me of the big vision that little children have.