Artificial

So lately I've been thinking, mainly because I've felt it in my own life, about the artificial nature of the world in which we live. I found myself struggling with some things in my life and as a result allowed it to consume my attention rather than allowing God to consume my attention. Last night I made a sad attempt to talk to God, apologizing and praying for guidance, yet somehow felt as though I was being completely artificial. I knew that I meant at the core of my heart that I meant what I was saying, yet somehow it felt fake. This just made me sad and frustrated. I tried that night to read from His word and it felt irrelevant and distant. Now I know that this isn't the case so I accept my feeling of separation as my fault. As I think about this I feel as though that I will never, until I see my Jesus face to face, get over this feeling of separation. This earth that I live in is not my home. I shouldn't accept it as such. Maybe we can consider it a temporary dwelling place. I know, however, that even though I was not destined to forever reside in this broken world I need to hold on all the more tightly to the one that has saved me from myself, from an eternal hell, my deserved destiny. I pray that I can have a faith that strong. I so desperately long for it.

A reminder that there are still things in the world that are not artificial.

Movement Assignment

Here is one of the kids in my youth group stopping a tackle.

Here is the classic I'm stopping you from hitting me. Ok so I don't think they call it that, but for the sake of the assignment.

I asked them to show me movement and this is what I got.

This was a cool mechanical surf board thing. I liked it. I got a lot of motion from it.

I didn't plan on origanally using this, but clearly there is movement.

My three random pictures for the week from some time spent with friends on a Sunday afternoon.

3 random pictures I've taken

Self Portrait

So I tried to think of different ways that I could represent myself the best through a self portrait and this is what I came up with. I will start with the fact that it is in black and white. Black and white photos are my favorite. They represent a timelessness to me, which doesn't necessarily say anything about me, but I just like B&W. My black and white clothes kind of carry the theme. I love music (hints the headphones). I've always wished that real life could have some sort of sound track to it. I love getting lost in the music that I'm listening to. If you say hi to me and I don't say anything back, don't get affended. My journal says, which you can't really tell, My Story. To me it just means all the entries that I've made so far speak of different times in my life and the empty pages to follow represent the possibilities in life to come left to be written.

Looking Forward

So here I am thinking about what the future holds. I'm in my last semester of school. I have up until this point not given it too much thought, but as I have begun this first few weeks of this semester it has become more and more real the fact that in three short months I will be graduating. It's exciting, thrilling, .....terrifying. I, like most, have no idea what I am going to be doing as my school career comes to an end. I've always had this torn feeling about the idea of being able to support myself as I enter this big scary world and yet still love what I'm doing. I understand that it is important to provide for one self and pay the bills and such. I just don't want to, and I've seen many fall in this trap, find a job that I despise just so that I can make money. I don't understand why this must be my destiny as a working man. Can I not follow my dreams and still contribute to this world as a member of society. I still want to believe that it is possible. Maybe it is my naivety as one who has yet to enter this phase of my life. I guess we will see, but I hope that my dreams can outshine my fears.

1rst Assignment

I mainly picked this picture because of the concept of the photo. It makes me think of the point of the view of the limo driver taking a look on their first few moments as a happy couple.

I love church photos. I especially love this one. I like that it was taken from the end of the aisle. I love that it was taken in black and white. It highlights the old asthetic of the church.

The light pouring into the window is perfect to me in this picture. The way that it reflects off of the table just adds that much more light illuminating the room. I like the way the black and white accentuates the different details in the picture like the stripes in the sweater and the grain in the wood. I like the way they have in facing away from the camera as well.

This photo to me just captures what all american really means. A child swinging in a real tire swing captures to me the innocence that we all had a one time. I feel like the coloring and lighting is perfect. The framing seems perfect too.

I think what I notice first in this photograph is the lighting. I love the way the light outlines this little one in front of this big door. It speaks to me of the big vision that little children have.